I don’t do divorce law but I have a lot of friends who do. And more friends who are caught up in divorce(s). So, here are some divorce survival tips:
GET A PRE-NUP!
If you are getting a divorce, even if you are an attorney,
1. Get a lawyer
2. Get a counselor you trust
3. Get an accountant
4. Make a list of all financial accounts and passwords
5. Get copies of all financial statements
6. Know you will survive this
7. Know it will feel sometimes that you will not survive this (and you will be wrong)
8. Never stop loving your children
9. Talk to your children calmly about what is going on
10. Do not bad mouth the other side—it will only come back at you
11. Do not lose touch with your children
12. Your children are not “leverage” over your spouse
13. Child support is not “leverage” over your spouse
14. Visitation is not “leverage” over your spouse
15. Everyone feels guilty. Nobody really is.
16. Time wounds all heels.
17. Friends are important
18. Eat well
19. Exercise controls stress
20. Stay off the internet—you are not as anonymous as you think you are
21. Change passwords to all accounts (email, bank, bar association, etc.)
22. Change your passwords to anything that is on your home computer or that you have accessed from home
23. Update your will/check beneficiaries on insurance policies, pension plans, etc. Check with your lawyer about this as they may have implications for your case
24. If you are locked out, who pays for what?
25. Don’t lose your temper.
26. Don’t take your children and leave the state—it opens you up to kidnapping charges
27. Until there is a court order, BOTH parents have equal rights to the children.