No lawyer is. We can help. We can sometimes solve problems. But none of us can do the impossible.
1. I can’t make the case go faster just because you want me to.
2. You rented your investment condo/house to a deadbeat. I can’t collect money from a turnip.
3. The Defendant will take the full amount of time you allowed him to come up with the settlement money. Your current need has nothing to do with what you promised her/him in writing and no matter how many times you call or email me nothing will change.
4. I cannot control what others do. That includes your ex-partner. This means that if you don’t have a written agreement, I cannot force them to
a. Sell you their share of the company for the price you want;
b. Let you control the company; or
c. pay you the salary you think you should get.
To try and solve these problems we have to go to court and you have to pay me to do that.
5. It is not my fault that you wouldn’t listen to me during the deposition when I told you on the break that you were talking too much. If you pretty much screwed up your case on your own please do not blame me.
6. It is not my fault that your first lawyer didn’t get you everything you wanted.
7. It is not my fault that some other lawyer told you wrong and you don’t like that what I am telling you is the law.
8. It is not my fault that they “do it differently” from
9. It’s not my fault that you lied to your attorney, and your lies came out during a witness’s deposition, and at the 11th hour before trial/arbitration, and so you got nothing, and probably lost some things in the process, and could have saved yourself the expense of having to pay your attorney if you’d only told the truth from the get go.
10. It’s not my fault that you failed to file a tax return for 10 years and finally got caught. I’m just trying to fix the problem and if it takes longer than you wish or costs too much please remember who got you into this fix.